A disappointing self analysis
Monday February 12, 2007

It doesn’t surprise me that such an organisation and competition exists, but it surprises me that there was such little… coverage: World Press Photo.

I was telling Vincent yesterday (only semi-joking) that I needed to go to the gym, or else I might develop a complex, or worse, an eating disorder. He jokingly said to me, “you already have an eating disorder, you eat too much”.

I was thinking about this on the bus this morning and I have come to a conclusion (or in the least, an analysis). I teeter between responsible healthy (“most of the time) living and an unhealthy obsession. I know that one day, if something happens that I should put on more weight than I would like (i.e. about 2 more kilos than what I am now), I don’t have enough discipline to go to the gym, and also eat healthy. I do however have enough discipline to say, “no, I’m just not going to eat”.

It bothers me that I can see this kind of behaviour in myself. It worries me that I can be “stronger” in one thing than in another, and that that thing can be so bad for me.

And what worries me the most is that I don’t know how to change this in me.

What do you do when you see your weaknesses and you can’t see that you’ll be able to change them?