BIC... it's complex... I've warned you...
Friday January 25, 2008

Edit: For all you Aussies, this is hilarious – How do you tell if you are a true Aussie. I particularly like numbers 5: “You’ve made a bong out of your garden hose rather than use it for something illegal such as watering the garden.” and 36: “When returning home from overseas, you expect to be brutally strip-searched by Customs – just in case you’re trying to sneak in fruit.”

I have issues… sigh. Be warned, this is going to be a post with absolutely no thought to how the sentences appear on the page.

Haha, I can’t believe how close I am to writing a whiny “woe is me” post. But I’m having to deal with something that is a huge… HUUUUUGE issue to me, not because it’s something I’m normally obsessed over, but because it’s something I’m normally not obsessed over.

Welcome to my body image complex. The “my thighs are too fat and now I have love handles and chubby cheeks (times by four)” issue…

The problem about my “body image complex” (let’s call it BIC for short) is that as usual, I’m the only one to think there is a problem.

And don’t you just hate it when you’re down on your body and people say “you should be happy the way you are”? I mean come off it! I’m not suddenly going to turn around and say, “hey, you’re right, even though I’m not happy about my weight gain, I’m just going to be happy with the way I am”. Give me a break.

And the thing that I hate the most about this whole BIC is the fact that because I’m not Biggest Loser type large, or even 25 BMI large, the general population feels like I don’t have a right to be unhappy with my weight.

And don’t let me forget the complex issue of shopping for clothes. Sizes that you find in the store that used to fit you 12 months ago don’t fit anymore, and your same sized clothes that you bought 12 months ago fit perfectly.

Does that even make sense? The same brand/style of jeans I have been buying for the last… 7 years… have somehow shrunk. And no, it’s not because my arse has grown that much (even though I’m going to concede on that point a little), it’s because the size model has shrunk by about 1.5 sizes. How is a girl supposed to feel about her body when the world is conspiring to make her feel fat?

Sigh. I hate having issues, particularly when they’re about my body. It sucks. Body images suck. So long as you’re healthy, you should be happy. But having maintained a good and steady weight for ooooh… the last 10 years (yes folks, since I was 15/16 years old my weight fluctuated, but always around the same mark) and suddenly have it go up a good 7 kilos (in the last… 8 months) has kind of got me shaken. And stirred.

It has to be the year I get married. I’m sure that’s why this is frustrating me more. I want to look perfect on the day! Why is it that this is the year (and when I say year, I’m really referring to the last 9 months and moving forward) that my body decides to put on weight, get cavities and have hair/scalp problems?

Anyway… after all that I just wanted to write out my “goals” in terms of my BIC for the next few months:

1. Exercise more. IN fact, by more I mean running every other morning and going to the gym at least two to three times a week.
2. Eat healthier. No more heavy foods for lunch! Salad sandwich and a piece of fruit all the way.
3. Exercise more…
4. Eat healthier
5. Exercise more…
6. Go to the dietitian
7. Eat healthier
8. Can you see the theme yet??
9. And last but certainly not least, get over myself.

Wish me luck!