Should I or shouldn't I?
Wednesday May 10, 2006
Over the last few months I have applied to DOCS to get all of my original papers (me being adopted and all, I don’t have anything like that).
To cut a long story short though, I received my papers in the mail the other day. I have everything except my birth certificate.
You know, it’s strange. No matter how much you know something about yourself or your past, it still hurts when you see it on paper.
I can’t really explain why it upsets me so much, that there is still an “unknown” in the “father” fields of all of my papers. But it does. I guess at some level, you can’t help but feel hurt that nobody – when you were born – really wanted you.
My (adoptive) parents really want me to apply for my birth certificate because they believe that it will “fill in” the blanks for me and be a good thing… and I don’t think that they’ll understand why I’m so hesitant to get this final piece of “information”.
So what do you think I should do? If you were in this position, would you want your original birth certificate?
By the way, please don’t just tell me to “follow my heart” because I need some solid advice right now…
11.05.06 - Ashley - #
Wow, that is a horrible situation. If I were you, I think I would get the birth certificate. Just because to me, it seems like it would kind of be…well closure in some ways. Good luck with it all
11.05.06 - Giselle - #
I don’t know…like, the specifics..when you found out or how you found out…
but I’d just let it sink in a bit. Sometimes, people go up for adoption because of LOVE. Yes, that’s right.Because the birth parents can’t afford to keep the kid, so they send them to a better home, one that can provide. Just keep that in mind.
And maybe your adopted parents are right. It’s better to get the blanks filled in, because we live trying to get all the blanks to go away.
Maybe if you really don’t want that information, you should go talk to your adopted parents, because they do love you, honestly…and they’ll understand.
11.05.06 - Felicia - #
that’s a tough situation and i can’t tell you what i’ve done but if i was in this situation, i’d probably have to get that last piece of information and find out who my birth father is. it would provide closure.
12.05.06 - Justin - #
Sorry I cant really offer any cool advice about your original Birth Certificate but For what it’s worth I just read a book called “To Own A Dragon”. Just thought maybe you would enjoy the thoughts brought forth in the book. I hope all goes well.
13.05.06 - Nina - #
For me, I’d do it just to see where that particular person came from. Healthwise it’s better to know where you come from so you are made aware of any medical illnesses that run in your family. If you’re not mentally prepared for it, then I say just go ahead and apply for it. When it comes to you in the mail a few days-weeks later and you have it in your hands, then you can debate on whether or not you want to open it or not.
13.05.06 - Taryn(xposure) - #
I would want my original birth certificate. Filling in the blanks could be a good thing. So I suggest that you get it.
13.05.06 - Minna - #
First of all, I don’t think I’m in the position to give you any advice on this. I understand that it feels like they didn’t want you when they adopted you away, I don’t know the rerasons why you were given up for adoption in the first place, but I hope you’re in a loving home now anyway :) What would the birth certificate bring you, that you don’t alreadt know and may have use for? I think you need to try and find out whether the ceftificate would cause you more pain or ease it. Then, it might be good for you to have it, in the future, seeing if something would happen, e.g. Good luck with your decision, I hope someone gives you the right advice :)
13.06.08 - Aaron - #
I have a sister I don’t know, her name is Skye, she is half Aboriginal… I want to find her…do you know your family..all I know is she has a sister Ebony…Encrypt86@hotmail.com